Would self termination be logical for me?

No formal education, no intelligence, no job, no money, no ual experience and no girlfriend at 21. If I've failed in life at this stage, then logically what's the point of being a burden on this wretched rock. You're born out of darkness, you live in darkness, you die in darkness. I don't have the to commit suicide, I wish I had the though. I have no confidence, because it was bullied out of me as a kid and women hate me because of it. I don't believe in a god, so spouting delusional creation myths to me is pointless. I am ashamed by my lack of experience with women, however I would rather have financial security. Only winning the lottery would make me happy and the chances of that happening are slim.