Short story? what do u think? Any advice?

It's good but you have some flaws that would make it flow better if you fixed. For instance, change this part to "Mrs Dally hated waiting all alone in her small flat; it wasn’t preferable, and she constantly felt claustrophobic." And "She woke to the piercing screech of a car. She abruptly sat up, dazed and disoriented. She'd fallen asleep in her chair and as a result her spine ached from the awkward pose she’d slept in." Ect ect. You have a lot of those little errors where there should be periods rather than commas. But otherwise very good detail and I like your choice of vocabulary. :-)